Food and etiquette: how to blend in and be polite
Monday, 22 September 2008

There are a few golden rules to getting by in France, and as one might guess, those rules deal primarily with etiquette and food.  In most cases, manners will serve you well and you will be well served if you use them.  Though the French aren't known for their friendliness, they are very formal and very polite.  I would argue that the snooty French waiter cliché is born mostly out of language barriers and cultural misunderstanding, though as with any other country one is bound to encounter a few sales cons every now and then. 

So.  Some facts, some advice, and some tricks for your French foodie experiences.

• It is perfectly acceptable in France to enter a restaurant or café and order only drinks, sit for hours, and not leave a tip.  This is true in most locations, especially those that have tables and chairs set up along the sidewalk outside.  However, if you sit at a table that has paper, a tablecloth, or place settings, the waiter will expect you to order a meal (rather than a drink and a croissant or something similar).  Although it's rare, some restaurants will expect you to order food no matter where you sit, but typically it will be obvious.  Restaurants with foreign cuisine (Indian, seafood, Mexican, etc.) like many of those found in Saint-Michel, for instance, expect those seated to order food.  Their seating areas are usually indoors or somehow offset from the sidewalk/street.
• Smokers are quarantined to outside tables.  Only recently has this become the case.
  
• Prices can change depending on where you sit, especially if you're only ordering drinks.  If you sit inside a café and order coffee, you may spend as much as 2€ more than if you ordered the same drink at a table outside.  The same is sometimes true for food.  By the same token, restaurants charge less for to-go/street food.  Part of this has to do with service.
• Service is included with the price of your meal, which is to say that your waiter has already been tipped.  However, it's not unheard of to leave some extra change after a drink, or a few small bills after a meal.  The fancier the restaurant, the more obligated you should feel to "tip on top," and leave your server a little extra cash.
• For cafés and more casual restaurants, there is no hostess.  Seat yourself and your waiter will come by shortly.
• Always greet your waiter, your baker, your cheese-maker, your neighbor, your cashier, and anyone else you speak with (the only exception being those you bump in the métro, to whom you should say "pardon" not "bonjour").  To enter a small market or specialty shop without greeting the owner or employees is very impolite, and this may be a large part of why Americans and non-French speakers are perceived as rude and insolent.  Likewise, upon exiting, you should say thank you and goodbye, especially if you've purchased something.  To say hello (depending on the time of day): Bonjour / Bonsoir.  To say goodbye: Merci, au revoir!  You may also wish someone a good day or good evening with Bonne journée / Bonne soirée. The more you Madame, Mademoiselle, and Monsieur people, the more formal and polite you sound.  "You're welcome" is De rien, or more formally (like "the pleasure is mine"), je vous en prie.  If the salesperson is someone in your neighborhood or someone you see frequently, you may extend your etiquette even further with "see you tomorrow" or "see you [day of the week]" to indicate that you appreciate their service and will return for business.  À demain, or à lundi / mardi / mercredi / jeudi / vendredi / samedi / dimanche.  Since my arrival in Paris I have been saying hello to every neighbor I pass in the hallway or on my way into / out of the building.  The more formal and polite I've been in restaurants and bakeries, the better the service I've received.
• Waiters in France differ from those in America.  French waiters are often career men, which is to say that people rarely wait tables on the side to make ends meet; for Frenchmen it is serious business.  French waiters are also more formal than American waiters, and will never introduce themselves ("Hi y'all, my name's Cindy and I'll be takin' care of you tonight.") as that would be improper.  Furthermore, they will leave you alone unless you get their attention; they will not stop by every five minutes to refill your sweet tea and ask if everything tastes okay.  There are no refills in France (and I can't imagine what sort of look one might receive upon requesting sweet tea), and it's a French restaurant--of course everything tastes okay.  By the same token, you must request your check.  Unless you have ordered only drinks, it will rarely be brought to you.  Again, this fits into French etiquette and formality.  Often the French take their time with a meal and talk at length when they've finished.  If the waiter arrived with your check alongside dessert, he would be rushing you or disturbing your conversation.  To request the check, you can get your waiter's attention with a little eye contact and a politely raised index finger while uttering the phrase, L'addition, s'il vous plaît.
• Table manners in France are pretty much the same, except both hands are kept on the table while eating (as opposed to the American one-hand-in-lap).  It's perfectly acceptable and even prefered during a meal to place your slice of bread next to your plate on the table.  The French will rarely put a serving of bread on the same plate with their meal (and you'll only see bread plates in nicer restaurants).
  
• If you bump into someone, need someone to get out of your way, or make a mistake counting change, etc., a little pardon or excusez-moi never hurt anyone.

7:17 PM            comments (4)           filed under: observations

Observations: life in Paris, the French way
Tuesday, 09 September 2008

• One feels most authoritative in Paris when carrying a stack of books in one arm and a baguette under the other.  Especially if one is stopped and asked for directions.
• Should you ever find yourself in Paris the first weekend of September (the first weekend after la rentrée, when everyone returns to the city after their August vacation), avoid Saint-Michel at all costs.  It's one of Paris's main shopping areas, and is also an area filled with and frequented by students.  There are dozens of book stores and supply shops, which is precisely what everyone is shopping for the first weekend after school begins.  I could barely navigate the sidewalks.
  
• The French are very traditional when it comes to school.  As a student, one should never do any of the following in the classroom: wear a hat, chew gum, drink coffee (or any other beverage, for that matter), or eat food.  The French are also very strict about punctuality.  There is no wandering in five minutes late, arriving halfway through class.  When you are late or absent, expect to be asked directly about it in front of the entire class.  Mme. Berthelier isn't harsh, but she does inquire.
• The French deserve more credit for their patience and toleration.  Despite a trifle of grammatical errors each time I open my mouth, I can usually make myself understood. Sometimes I require repetition for comprehension, and often I lack specific vocabulary to properly communicate.  However, rarely has it been my experience that the French refuse to converse with me as I butcher their language.  My pronunciation is relatively good, though my cadences still reflect the fact that I'm an English-speaker.  Before leaving the States, I was warned repeatedly that "studying French in Paris will be hard!  Don't let them speak English to you!"  On the contrary, I've had to use my French every time I go out.  And for the most part everyone I've conversed with has been extremely patient and accommodating, and without speaking to me in English.  It's possible that this is partially due to the fact that tourist season is over, but more likely the French have this reputation of impatience because English-speakers exaggerate their experiences; when fumbling around with a new language, one often feels much more stupid and ridiculed than is actually the case.  At least that's my two cents.  If the French speak English, it's probably simply that they can't understand you; I'm learning in phonetics class that being understood has as much to do with cadence and rapid pronunciation as it does with saying vowel combinations correctly.
• I was informed by a classmate that, in Paris, instead of someone asking for your telephone number, they'll ask for your "06."  Instead of Avez-vous un portable? the hip French kids will ask Avez-vous un zero-six?  All phone numbers in Paris begin with 06.
• The same classmate told me that Saint-Michel is often called Saint-Mich by the same hip French kids.  Any other local Parisian expressions you know of that I can toss into the mix?
  

11:24 PM            comments (2)           filed under: observations

Observations: Club Erasmus
Friday, 05 September 2008

Club Erasmus is a Thursday night club that's free for international (non-French) students who show their passports, and €12 for French students. 



Observations:

• European men dance.  Or perhaps they DANCE.  Any American bro, particularly those from the University of Alabama, would look at a crowd like the one at Erasmus, and think it was a gay club.
• Bottles of water at Parisian clubs go for about €5 a pop.
• Clubs in Paris play what I consider dance party classics, such as "Sweet Dreams," "Tainted Love," "Thriller," "Billy Jean," etc.
• At Erasmus, the DJs take breaks by playing Tetris on a giant pixelated wall.
• If you suddenly find that Eurotrash has attached itself to you, a polite phrase to mutter is "Casse-toi, si te plaît," which translates to "get lost, please."  The literal translation goes something like, "break yourself, please," which I think I prefer.  I've not yet had the occasion to learn or utter the more vulgar French phrases, fortunately.
• German dudes and Brazilian dudes generally are respectful of dance-space, at least two or three gentleman of those nationalities were this evening.
• Finding a gay friend is still the best dance strategy.  I look forward to my hag days ahead.

It's almost three, I'm exhausted, my feet hurt, and I have an orientation meeting at the American University early tomorrow.  That is, in a few hours.  Bonsoir, mes amis.

2:29 AM                    filed under: observations